Body language. Holy crap is that shit useful. I don’t think we as people understand just how much we all lie. Even myself. I try so hard to be honest and truthful every single day and even I will bend and stretch the truth every now and then. It’s mostly not even anything nefarious. We just simply lie. Lie to be polite, lie to avoid getting in trouble, lie to avoid awkwardness. It just feels easier to fib then to deal with the truth. Here’s the thing. We can lie with our mouths all we want but our bodies will always betray us. Your body language will always tell the truth about how you feel about something. Most of us are good at picking up the major changes in body language. When someone gets mad, or sad, or upset, these kinds of things you can tell pretty easily. The hard part comes in picking up the smaller signs. The small hints that we all drop hoping that people will pick up on them so we don’t have to say anything. That is the trick. If you can get good at picking up body language you can make insane leaps and bounds to your tact.
Now I can’t teach you about body language in any real detail because I am not an expert. Luckily there are countless amounts of content out there from blog posts to videos that you can watch if you want to get better at picking up body language. What I can do is share what I think is a decent general theory about body language that anyone can pick up and use right away without having to do much study. The theory is to use your logic. Yes, it’s really that simple. Think about it logically. Ask yourself, if this girl was interested in me what would be the things she would do to signal that interest? Would she constantly be looking at you? Yes. Would she find an excuse to get close to you? Yes. Would she face you trying to get your attention? Yes. Would she try to touch you? Yes. Why? Because think about it, you probably would do the same thing to the girls you are interested in as well. There are I’m sure some nuanced differences in the body language between men and women. Overall, I think it is safe to say that as humans we share a lot of common behaviors. So, if there is a body behavior that you would do to show interest, it’s probably a good bet that a girl will do something similar.
One thing you can do to practice is just start to look at body language on everyone. Anywhere you go, the store, the mall, etc… If it’s out in public take the opportunity to see how people behave body wise in day to day life. When you look for it that is when you start to see it. You begin to see it everywhere. The more you practice the better you get. In fact, you probably are not too bad at it already. Online I often see girls talk about the signals they give out and wonder why guys can’t seem to pick up on them. The truth is they more than likely can. The reason why they don’t make a move is because they are afraid of the consequences of being wrong. If you think a girl is giving you signals of interest, it’s quite possible that she is. It’s ok to be a little scared of rejection. We all are, even those who are the best with women. What you shouldn’t let scare you is the idea of her thinking negatively about you because your read was wrong. If she is a good person, she will just tell you honestly that she isn’t interested and let you down easy. If she makes you out to be a creep because “how dare you approach me”, then you are dealing with a girl who is just plain mean and you dodged a bullet. I should mention that this assumes you can honestly reflect on your approach and you can say with near 100% that you didn’t miss anything major or were lazy in your work. Only you can answer that for yourself and sleep at night. If you can be honest with yourself that you feel you played it right, then her negative opinion of you is likely unfounded. However, if upon reflection you made a glaring error, then the issue is still on you and you need to fix that.
Always be on the lookout for signals because we all send them out. Whether intentionally or unintentionally our bodies love to send out subtle hints to try and get what we desire. Being able to pick up body language not only will help you get what you want, it also will make your life so much easier. Think about it, how awesome would it be that instead of spending hours or days trying to figure out if a girl is interested you could find out within the first 5 minuets? The time you save not pursuing someone who isn’t into you is time you can use to find someone who is interested. Time is valuable. You shouldn’t waste it on those who don’t care about you. Body language is one of the most sure-fire ways to figure out how people feel about you in the quickest way possible. Sometimes you will be wrong and that’s ok. No one is perfect. You will get better as time goes on, and the difference will be incredible.
Now that we’ve talked about some of the major planks of things to work on for self-improvement, let’s wrap up with some basic mentalities and philosophies that are important in making sure you have the best shot at being successful.