Self-awareness is a tricky one. Often times it’s used synonymously with self-confidence. While I feel self-confidence is very important, I believe self-awareness is a tad more nuanced than just that. In addition to being honest and confident with oneself, self-awareness has to do with the ability to see who you are relative to the environment around you. You could take someone who is very self-confident, put him or her in an environment that is very foreign or new, and that person would still have issues starting out. Those with good self-awareness are able to adapt quickly to the surrounding environment and seamlessly blend in to the point where those around them wouldn’t even have thought of this person as an outsider.
Gaining self-awareness is very powerful. In fact, if you wanted to you could use it for nefarious reasons by reading a room and altering your behavior to manipulate those around you. However, since the beginning of this I have always made it clear that your actions should always be with the best of ethics in mind. Remember, you want to be the best version of yourself. Not the version of yourself that you feel you need to be to trick others into liking you. It won’t work long term, and you’ll just end up feeling crummy about it later. The power instead that you want to wield is how your self-awareness can make the experience of everyone around you a better one. This is the trait of an attractive person. One who elevates those around him or her into a good place.
You more than likely have been around people who aren’t self-aware and they have driven you nuts. The person who is too loud. The person with the annoying laugh. The person who is too pushy. The person who is too intense. They are not bad people I should add. They simply don’t have the self-awareness to know that what they are doing is putting off the people around them. It could be because no one has ever corrected them. It’s possible people have and the person just doesn’t care. The reasons could be endless. Whatever the reason is the outcome is the same. The behavior puts off everyone. Not just the girls you want to attract mind you. It may even put off guys you might want to be friends with.
Now I want to make something very clear. The concept of self-awareness is not to be confused with “fitting in” and “sacrificing who you are”. If you are changing who you are because you feel the people around you won’t accept your core self, you are doing it wrong. It’s one thing when the group you are with appreciates your humor, they just can’t have you telling your jokes at the top of your lungs. That’s different. That’s not the group asking you to change your sense of humor or personality. That’s what they like about you. What they are having a little issue with is your tone or your volume. This is just one example of course, it can apply to anything. What I don’t want you to do is fib, lie, or change yourself to the point where you know you feel like a fraud. That’s bad. That’s not self-awareness. That’s bending to peer pressure. Individuals who are confident and attractive don’t bow down to peer pressure. They present the best version of themselves that they can, confident knowing that the people around it will like them. If they don’t, then so be it. Your personality isn’t for everyone. That’s ok. It’s how you find the people you best connect with. The more you interact. The better you get at your self-awareness and the better chance you have at finding the friends who will like you the most.