One of the big checkpoints on the way to desperation is frustration. Do you know what will cause you frustration? Did you say failure? You are incorrect. Failure is not what leads to frustration. If you look at the most successful people in business, art, sports, etc… they fail all the time. Sure every now and then they’ll get a little annoyed with their performance and they’ll show it. Overall, they appear to have a level head. The reason being is because when they fail, they have an understanding as to why they failed. They will adjust accordingly and fix it for the future. Conversely when something doesn’t go according to plan or how you envisioned it, you can easily get frustrated. The reason being is because you did not account in your plan for when things go sideways. This is what I am talking about when I say leave yourself an easy decision. It goes under several different monikers. You may have heard it as “always leave yourself an out” or “always have an exit plan”. No matter how you have heard of it, they all mean the same thing. You put yourself in a position that no matter what happens you know exactly what to do and the decision is easy.
The most common example that I see all the time is the frustrations guys have when they are trying to court a girl they like. They talk about how they get a number and then send a text only to get no response. Call the girl and she won’t pick up. Set up a date only to be stood up or have it be pushed off to some unknown future date. The reason why all these things are so mindboggling frustrating is because you didn’t go in with a plan for when these things happen. Take me for example, if I get a number I am assuming you have some interest. I will send you some texts to build that interest and see if the girl wants to take it further. If she stops responding to my texts then I have my answer. She’s not interested. Plain and simple. So I stop sending messages. Guys will probably say “well how do you know, maybe she is just busy”. Maybe. The point is if she’s interested she’ll reach out to me. In the meantime, I have other girls I am also interested that I am trying to get to know. I have put myself in a position where the decision to move on and focus on someone else is very easy. I decided a while back that no girl is worth me getting frustrated and upset over, so I just simply don’t.
This is why I try to tell guys when I can, don’t sweat getting ghosted. Who cares? Yes, it’s not polite and it would be nice if she was honest and told you she isn’t interested. Does she really have to tell you that though? Her actions speak louder than words. She has told you, she doesn’t really want you that way. So fine. Fuck it. Let it go. It’s an easy decision. Now you don’t have to hit your head against the wall constantly trying to figure out where you went wrong or what’s wrong with this girl. Just leave it. Move on and spend your time with someone who actually cares and wants to see you. Doesn’t that sound so much easier? Doesn’t that sound so much better? It does because it is. I know that we talked about effort in earlier chapters. Your effort also has a limit, because that’s what self-respecting people do. If you have a job that expects a lot of your effort and they compensate you well, then fine by all means grind away. Would you work for a company that expects maximum effort for pennies on the dollar? Of course you wouldn’t. Only you can determine your own limits, just make sure you have some. I will also caution you that you shouldn’t make your limits too flimsy otherwise you will indeed miss out on some great girls potentially. Just make sure you have a plan. Leave yourself in easy positions, and you will notice a difference in how you feel when you strike out. This topic also works well with our next topic about hoop jumping. So now let's touch on that.